


Fooling a Giant Baby

by EternalElysium



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill is a triangle, Do you like Manatees?, F/M, Fluffy, If so I suggest you don't read about Manatees dying, M/M, Mabel and Dipper and the other preteens are now 18 or 19, Potential Future War Spoilers, Teeth-Rottening Fluffy BillDip in the Future so beware, also minor character death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-23 02:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4860341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalElysium/pseuds/EternalElysium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Future war between Bill and Time Baby is over. The Time Baby is the winner, but Bill has another chance to win... by being Dipper Pines' demon lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Mabel, don't open the door!" Dipper scolds while turning into the parking space. "I'm not done yet."

"But Dipper, there's a sale on Star-shaped confetti sprinkles! I need to buy them all!" She yells and bounces in her seat impatiently at the thought of half-off deliciousness. Gruncle Stanley laughs at Dipper's frustration at the hyperactive twin.

"Kid, you'll never get her to slow down." Gruncle Ford nods in agreement to the mystery man.

"Yes, she'll probably supernova before that happens." Waddles oinks shortly after that, voicing his own opinion about Mabel's boundless energy.

Once Dipper forces the car to a complete stop, Mabel hops out of the old vehicle and rushes toward the grocery store. Several people pushing carts screech to a halt as she weaves in and around them; her shorter twin yells at her for the reckless behavior, but the wide smile on his face shows Dipper has no malice. Dipper could love his sister through an apocalypse, awkward teenage phases, and their returning adventures to the eerie town of Gravity Falls; a bunch of soccer moms and working people with groceries are nothing. The elder Pines twins are no match for the high school-grads' long, limber legs at full stride, but are at least sensible enough to grab a cart.

"Ah! My baby's still in there!" The old men may have forgotten to check the cart...

"Whoa! That's one ugly baby!" Stanley gasps and resists the urge to chuck the infant over his shoulder (his stomach is lurching from not doing so). "I've seen deflated footballs more pleasant to look at than this kid."

"Stanley, please! You're only making this worse." Stanford groans and returns the baby to the angry mother...

As soon as Dipper assures himself that Mabel is safe and preoccupying herself with fitting as many containers of colorful sprinkles into her arms, he sneaks into the candy aisle. Last night is the first and only night they spent in Gravity Falls without some sort of sugary concoction keeping them awake and binging on movies, and what kind of fun is that? He grabs a few of his favorites - most of the crunchier and harder chocolates in the selection - before moving towards the gummy koalas, fruit-flavor treats, and gooey caramels. His mind is so busy thinking about the possible movies that he and Mabel could rent for tonight that he almost misses them. It is quick, but Dipper notices the flashes of silver at the end of his aisle. They are two men that clearly work for the Time Police, wearing the same uniform that their acquaintance Blendin does and they seem to be studying Dipper intensely. The nervous teenager adjusts his signature Pine Tree hat and ignores their intense stares until he feels an itch in him. They are still looking.

He waves to them - they knew that he knew - and hurries back to Mabel. The two men are not the only ones from the Future. Personnel stand in every aisle and open area, and all of their eyes are following Dipper. The stares are unnerving. Some of them have glints of amusement, clouds of confusion, or even the occasional disgust in them. What is going on? Dipper wants to believe that they are not looking at him, but he can still feel the sting of their attention on him and the tiny glimpses he lets himself steal back to the crowds prove they never left his form. His body is steeling himself for the inevitable terror that is going to happen; his gut coils in uncomfortable knots and all the boy wants is to find Mabel and make sure she is out of danger.

"Dipper!" Gruncle Ford calls out and it almost scares Dipper to the point of dropping the sweets. The older man has a straining smile on his face as he leads this nephew toward the cart.

"Gruncle Ford, why are they-"

"I've never seen so many of them stationed in a place at once. A huge time anomaly must be about to take place and they're bracing themselves. Lets find your sister and Stan, and get the heck out of here." Ford hisses in a hush tone. Dipper nods and does not even hear his uncle telling him to run when he races for Mabel. Oh god, the eyes are all still on him. Why? Why? Why? Dipper releases the breath he is holding when he sees Mabel obliviously juggling with the task to carrying thirty cartons of edible confetti at once, and walks towards her.

"Dipper!" A high-pitch voice calls out and makes the young man jump. It is Blendin Blandin. Thankfully the twins could trust Blendin and Dipper lets the abnormally average man approach him.

"H-Hey Blendin, sorry I overreacted there. Anyways, what's going on?" The Time Police worker stops at that question, the contemplation on his face does not comfort Dipper.

"You know kid, we didn't always get along, but you really showed your true character later. You sacrificed your childhoods to protect Gravity Falls, got my job back and gave me hair, and gave your friend the ultimate gift of a Time Wish on his birthday when you could have used it to wish for anything... but..." Blendin bit his lip, unsure how to follow that up. Dipper kept shooting peeks at his sister to make sure that Mabel is still nearby. "Maybe you and your sister are too nice, and kindness can be really dangerous kid."

"Blendin, I didn't know you liked the hair that much-"

"No Dipper! This isn't about the hair!" Blendin traditional whine rises a couple octaves due to embarrassment. "This is very serious stuff, kid. What I'm talking about could mean the end of the world and dictate the future!" Dipper gulps. "We were shown some things in the future during the war trials... and I just have to know... how can you be so sure? Are you sure that there is no manipulation involved?" Just as he is about to ask the nervous Wreck-of-a-Time-Agent for more information, shades of gray suck the color out of the world. "Oh no..." There is only one thing that Dipper knows that could do this, but they have not seen him since the demon's attempt to merge the Nightmare realm with their universe six years ago.

"Hey Pine Tree, you're looking even more adorable today!" Bill chimes in and slides a thin limb around the teen boy's waist. Dipper sucks in his breath and his face turns red. He wants to spit a retort back - and if he believes it would have any chance of being effective, he would like to elbow Bill right in the bowtie - at the floating triangle, but when the young human sees Blendin's visible horror and shock, Dipper grows curious. Why is Bill here? According to what they knew about Bill, the opportunity to initiate the dream demon's plan only happens once a generation (every thirty years). "So, how's my favorite fleshsack lately?"

"Well, I'm buying candy so that Mabel and I can have a movie night..." Dipper says, unsure how to continue this while getting the information he wants. He really wishes he has time to make a plan. The casual conversation makes Blendin tense.

"That's great kid, you guys have fun, okay?" Bill coos sickeningly and pokes a slender finger against Dipper's left cheek. "Oh Blendin Blandin, what are you doing here? I would have thought your boss kept you busy." Bill narrows his large eye at the average man, but Blendin does his best to remain firm. The Time Police's boss is the Time Baby... but what does that have to do with anything? Dipper sticks to his impromptu plan of Stay-Silent-and-Listen-until-all-the-Pieces-Fit, and waits for a response from the future man. Still, his body feels nauseous about the fact that he's not trying to shake the obnoxious entity off of him.

"You're a creature that has powers over the mind. You manipulated the creatures of Gravity Falls and prevented them from attacking their Great Uncle Stanley Pines until he restarted the portal. How do I know that you haven't done something to Dipper?" Blendin defends the younger man by shielding Dipper from the demon with his body. Bill makes his dislike for the action evident in his intense gaze, but does nothing to remedy it.

"You think Time Baby wouldn't have thought of that, ha! Maybe I should write a complaint about you to your higher-ups." Blendin froze. "That's what I thought! Now, why don't you and the other goons you brought here scram? I want to spend quality time with the kid," Bill huffs and his cane magically appears at his side. Bill rests his arms on the walking stick, even though it is useless when he's hovering in the air. The intimidation tactic does not stop Blendin from sending this warning to Dipper though.

"Be careful who you trust. I don't know what he's up to, but remember, Bill's intentions are never good." Dipper nods and soon everything becomes dripping in vibrant hues and starts moving once more. "All right everyone, lets get back to business as usual..." Blendin says but his eyes send a vicious glare in Bill's direction. All of the people in silver suits pull out his or her measuring tapes, and vanish with a flash of light.

"Dipper! What was Blendin talking to you about? One second you two were talking and then booosh! He went away," Mabel asks once she's within arms reach. "Oh.. that candy better be for me!" The shorter twin forgot about the candy that was becoming warm from his body heat.

"Aw, Shooting Star, no greeting for me?" The young woman snaps her head upwards at Bill's greeting.

"I thought we got rid of you."

"You did! But... I'm from a different timeline than you guys. Time Baby sent me here," Bill sounds proud about this. The demon adjusts his top hat as he observes the twins' reactions.

"Wait, how come we can see you in the real world?" Dipper asks; he clearly remembers the demon telling him that those in the mindscape cannot interact with the living without possessing a vessel. "Is this part of why Time Baby sent you back here?"

"Ding, ding, ding! Give smart kid a prize!" Bill cheers. The sound of old-school slot machines hums through the air as Bill pulls a rose out of the cosmic abyss of his body. "Here! I promise it won't start on fire or eat you! It's your lucky day." Dipper hesitantly takes the reward; it is an ordinary rose with the thorns clipped off the sides of the stem. His touching of the rose summons the gray of the Bill's reality again. Dipper and Mabel groan. "Come on, call the whole family in! I don't want to repeat myself." Bill scoffs and fiddles with his bow.

"Kids!" Gruncle Stanley calls out; there is breathy worry in his voice.

"Dipper! Mabel!" Ford adds. The high school graduates alert their relatives of their location. Stanford does not even wait to get out the gun. "What are you doing back here?" His finger is already sliding against the trigger.

"Sheesh Sixer, I thought you were a man of science. You're almost getting to the point of shooting first and asking later." Bill mocks.

"Well Bill, everyone's here. Now what is going on?" Dipper wonders and slowly pushes the tip of the shot gun down (This displeases Ford). Within a blink, Bill's eye transforms into a camera and starts projecting holographic images. Mabel pokes one of the figures on the illusion and laughs when it fractures.

"Always funny," Bill notes before he begins his story. "So... I know you don't know much about the Future, but I think you'll understand the story. Since you still remember Blendin then you probably remember the brat, Time Baby, and well... that fat giant toddler and I were arguing." The demon makes a large hideous baby and himself appear. The fake Bill is attempting to punch the chubby infant, but the demon's fist gets stuck in the cheek fat. "Damn monstrosity... Anyways, turns out when you punch the last one of a race of Time Giants in the face, that is considered a declaration of war. Honestly, people are just too sensitive. I'm not sorry; some babies deserve to be punched!"

"Amen!" Stan interrupts. Ford only frowns at his twin. Dipper and Mabel hold back their desire to slap their Gruncle on the shoulders.

"Right? Well, since I did that, this huge war erupted. There were a lot of battles, explosions, guts flying, the usual good stuff," The floating triangle gleefully makes images of people lying on the ground dead, body parts hanging from burnt trees, and dark, ominous smoke wraps sleazily around the landscape. "And then that stupid baby cheated! But, everything's fair in war so I can't really hold it against him... So I kind of lost." Bill flicks his wrist and shows a cutesy - almost innocent looking - version of himself wallowing in jail. "Since I can't technically die, Time Baby was going to send me to time out for eternity! Can't really have that happening with the plans, so when Time Baby asked me for my last words! I said this!" The projections soon became more filmic in quality, showing a much more realistic-looking Bill presenting himself to the Time Baby and the future judges.

 _"My last words are... that I regret that I never pursued the only human that ever made me genuinely interested in romance, Dipper Pines."_ _All of the future people gasp at the confession._ Dipper sudden drops all of the candy in his arms; his shock is so great that no sound comes out of his gaping mouth. Mabel mirrors his reactions, edible star confetti scattering all over the floor. _"But the timing of when we met was terrible. I was ready to initiate my plans to take over, and he was only a twelve-year old boy. I think... We had a chance of making it work." The fake Bill shows Time Baby the night that the demon appears to Dipper to offer the password. DID YOU MISS ME? ADMIT IT, YOU MISSED ME... THE POINT IS I LIKE YOU, KID... I'VE BEEN KEEPING AN EYE ON YOU..._ But the one part that makes Dipper shiver is watching himself ask in a small voice 'Really?' when the golden shape tells him that the young boy's persistence and intelligence impresses Bill. Dipper is glad that he is not nearly as insecure as back then. _"Sure, he had a crush on a teenage girl at the time, but he knew that they weren't going to be more than friends and was ready to move on. I just... I wish I had the chance to go back and spend the time with him. I think Pine Tree would have liked that too. We could be... Well, I guess we would be 'boyfriends' in human terms." The fake Time Baby nods at his enemy's heartfelt (and absolutely untrue) words._

"So the idiot let me come back so I could 'woo' you to be my lover! Hahaha! So what do you say kid, you get peace, knowledge, and half of my gold, and in exchange, I avoid Time Out until the end of your universe, which sounds like a pretty good deal?" Bill wonders in a sing-song voice. Mabel puts a steady hand on Dipper's shoulder. The young man is fuming.

"So this is your little ploy, huh, Bill?" Dipper asks in a quiet voice. "Tell everyone there is something between us by manipulating the truth? This is so like you, Bill! Doing and saying anything to get out of trouble or getting something out it! You're the type to be able to squeeze blood from the stone!" His frustration and contempt does not seem to bother Bill. Stanford rests another comforting hand on his nephew's back and rubs it slowly.

"Thank you! I'm pretty great at what I do," The dream demon swoons at the compliment and twirls his cane. Dipper wants to tackle the annoying entity to the ground and punch Bill right in the eye, but he knows that will have no effect.

"So what are the terms?" Gruncle Stanley asks. It surprises the rest of the Pines family. "Come on, you may be a demon but I'm a dealing man too. The baby wouldn't have sent you here without any sort of restrictions." Bill squints his eye at the con man.

"Yeah, there's some terms..." The triangle drawls out. "So... I'm allowed into your world so that I can hang out with Pine Tree. As long as I don't try to take over or change the universe as you know it, hurt any of the Pines family, or use my powers on your minds, I get out of Time Out. But I know that Time Baby would definitely get off my back and make his goons stop watching over me like hawks if we were able to fool them into thinking we're together." Bill tacks on at the end. "Come on, we don't even have to shake on it, Pine Tree." Dipper cringes when the interstellar-dimensional entity swoops in closer so that they are face-to-face. "In exchange, you get access to the information that I have. You know I'm over 12.6 billion years old... all that knowledge is yours if you pretend to be my fleshy boyfriend..."

"You can just get lost!" Dipper snaps. Bill pouts - odd since the demon does not have a mouth - and taps his cane against the teenage boy's forehead. "Ow," The gray swallows up Mabel, Stanley, and Stanford, and Dipper is left alone.

"I know you're mad kid, but just think about it. This deal won't even be finalized with any bindings. I'm not holding you down to anything. All I'm asking is just a little help in getting these Time morons off my back. You don't even have to be faithful to me; demons don't have the same ties to monogamy like you meatsticks." Bill reasons to the boy. "You're too logical to not take advantage of this. No matter how much you hate me and what I've done, I know that you love exploration of the unknown even more. It's what I like the most about you, kid." Dipper bites his lip. The brunette hates how much his pride swells at the words. "Come on... this isn't anything like what Stanford and I had in the past. You can't really get burned by this. Literally! Since we're not making it official and all. You're not even seeing anyone, like usual."

"I-I need to think." Damn. Dipper dislikes how nervous he sounds.

"Sure, why don't you guys have dinner on me? In fact, I'll pay for the candies, movies, and everything else for the day." Bill confidently says and summons a large, gold nugget and places it in Dipper's pants pocket. It happens so fast that the recent high-school graduate does not have time to protest and push the invading hand away. The ore's weight drags him down significantly on that side. How much does it weigh?! With a gentle wave of Bill's left arm, all of the candy and spilled sprinkles are returned to normal and placed into the cart. "Why not get some pie at Lazy Susan's place? All on me, sweetie! Just don't let Stanley get a hold of it, otherwise you won't see that gold ever again." Urgh, that nickname is worse than Pine Tree! "Hahaha, just kidding, calling you 'sweetie' like that sounds so weird. Well, got to go! Remember-"

"Illusion, Hologram, Gold, yeah yeah..."

"Aw, I knew you'd still remember all these years! Maybe you do have a soft spot for me kid, even if it's just a little one. But you were always a smart kid, Pine Tree. Bye!" When the world began moving and the color returns, it is so sudden that it feels like a kick to Dipper's stomach. When he hunches slightly at the pain, his relatives rush to his side.

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Dipper reassures and tries to stop his body from quaking. "Um... he is giving me time to decide, and gave me money for dinner and groceries." Mabel instantly pulls him to her chest. Ew, he really does not want his face anywhere near his sister's large bosom. "Mabel please, we talked about this."

"I know, but I'm just worried about you bro-bro. I don't want that triangle sneaking something in and making you a Bipper-puppet again. There's no way I'm going to have an evil triangle as a sibling," She laughs and lets him go. She brushes down his shirt quickly to get rid of the dust. "At least he's paying. Maybe it won't be so bad having a fake demon sugar-daddy."

"Please don't put it that way!" Dipper moans and covers his face in embarrassment. Ford is not in a mood to joke.

"Well, let's pay for everything and regroup. We need to be smart about this if Bill is telling the truth and he's able to interact with our world without a vessel." Everyone nods. They agree that they would treat themselves to Greasy's Diner, and gather up everything they need.

Dipper wishes he does not notice the concern in Mabel's eyes whenever she glances in his direction, but he knows that he would be doing the same if this situation ever happens to her. Like old times when their youth, the fraternal twins hold hands. He will not let go until she is no longer feeling tension. They sneak small smiles at each other.

"So, are we still having movie night?" She asks in an oddly soft voice.

"Of course Mabel, I'm not letting Bill ruin our summer before we go to college. You're way more important to me than that, silly." Dipper grins and lightly squeezes her fingers. "I'm totally thinking about getting the pretentious art films that we can make fun of. Or maybe some horror movies made by locals..." She beams at the thought.

"And I know someone who has over $5,000 extra because of a demon... I'm thinking of getting some late-night pancakes too." Mabel flashes a toothy smile.

When they get to the Diner for supper and pie, both Gruncles and Fiddleford McGuckett are there, waiting for the younger pair of twins. They greet the inventor - whose mind is almost back to its original state before the memory wipes - and quickly order. Stanford and Fiddleford dictate most of the conversation (since they knew Bill the longest), leaving Stan alone to flirt with the woman in the booth next to theirs and Dipper and Mabel are planning their own grandiose plans. Still, Dipper keeps his ears open to the geniuses' discussion; they knew several facts about the dream demon, and the possibilities of banishing the triangle are fascinating... yet, despite his history with Bill, Dipper is unsure about everything. The young man knows that trusting Bill will give a person nothing but trouble, but if his observations of Blendin Blandin and the other future people are correct, then Bill is being honest about his "wish" the Time Baby willing gave.

But what does Bill gain from this? Sure, the strange being that is older than their galaxy is getting out of war punishment and imprisonment, but the demon could simply use some other power or ability to escape that. Even if Bill has to manipulate Time Baby into believing that he does like humanity (for reasons other than for possible slave labor in the demon's new world order), why choose Dipper and this time? The demon could request to be sent to Dipper's childhood where coercion is at its strongest... his whole childhood could have been to Bill's will, and yet the demon chose here. Heck, if the demon really wants an adult with agency - but why take the risk again - then Gruncle Ford is clearly the best choice! Dipper is proud of his intelligence and abilities, but the young man will not deny that his genius does not match either of the Fords. Stanley Pines would make a better choice too, since Bill could easily lie about the portal and help Stan during that time and get the rift like he wants instead of this.

Is there something in this timeline, that Bill needs that is not present anywhere else? What is it?

"Dipper... Dippin' dots... hey, I'm going to take your french fries if you're not eating!" Mabel mentions before she takes a fry.

"Ah! Sorry Mabel, I spaced out again."

"Dip, you always do that. I just didn't want you to complain that I took all your food." The lovable sister notes and takes another fry. Dipper shrugs.

"Gruncle Ford, McGuckett, do you know if there is anything supernatural that Bill needs here? Something recent that happened that he couldn't have gotten in the past?" Dipper asks, voicing his thoughts after all that thinking and focusing he did earlier.

"Hm... it is possible. Gravity Falls' supernatural properties are always changing." Stanford sighs and rests his aching back onto the cushion.

Dipper sighs with him, but at least he has Mabel and _Manos: The Hands of Fate_ to look forward to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... if you were fooled into thinking this was going to be a serious fanfic, I'm so sorry! It's going to be pretty fluffy and cute, so I hope you don't mind!


	2. Chapter 2

Mabel yawns and stretches her aching arms. She sighs. They could not stop laughing at the stream of awful movies last night, so her stomach is spasming from the aftermath. The young woman sits up and stares down at the hundreds of candy wrappers askew on the floor, sticky napkins, and empty potato chip bags. Her gaze slips to Dipper, and she goofily smiles at the slumbering boy. Thankfully after the giant battle six years ago (during their first Summer in Gravity Falls), her twin's ability to relax and indulge himself in entertainment got better with time.

Still, as the usually hyper girl goes through her routine of brushing her teeth and washing her face, she cannot help but drift towards Bill's return. Although Dipper thinks he hides things well, Mabel knew her brother better than anyone else. She wonders if the night terrors, sweaty sheets, large eye-bags, and shifty behavior and trust issues will crop back up. Mabel's frown feels heavy on her face. She hopes none of that ever makes an appearance again. Dipper has been through enough, and now that they are older, the young man would feel even more responsibility on his shoulders if Bill continues his take over. She taps her face lightly and makes the sad expression fade.

"Time to make my signature Maffles for everyone!" She cheers and eagerly skips to the kitchen. Since no one is awake yet, she has the time to make the batter from scratch and adds her special touch of edible glitter, coloring (she thinks that lavender would be best today), and newly-bought star confetti sprinkles. They are not everyone's aesthetic, but they are still better in taste that Stan-cakes (much less hair). She likes eating with her family best, so Waddles happily accepts them from under the dining table.

"Like them?" Waddles squeals softly, his voice still straining from just waking up. "That's good," She sighs and rests her hand on the pig's forehead. Mabel is thankful that her Gruncles take good care of Waddles when she is at home in California. Her parents would never approve of the farm animal staying in the house. "I'm going to give some to Gompers." She tells her pet and swings open the patio door.

The goat is nowhere around the front yard; a little strange, since Gompers is usually eating all the time. She balances the platter of waffles on her left arm and strolls outside. There is nothing to indicate that the outside-pet went into the shady woods.

"Gompers?" She calls out. No familiar bleating answers her. "Huh, I don't think I saw him inside." Mabel shrugs and walks down the steps of the porch. Her feet crunches the grass underneath. The young woman slowly circles the house, making sure to check the forest surrounding the house.

"Hey! You can't do that, that's cheating!" A high-pitch voice yells out. Urgh, it is too early to deal with the triangle... but Mabel is too curious just like Dipper. She dashes toward the back, and sees that the golden demon is sitting calmly on the grass, twig legs childishly splay out in a v-shape, and holding five cards close to his eye. Gompers stood on all four legs, and the awkward goat is currently eating one of the playing cards. After all of these years of traveling back-and-forth from Piedmont to Gravity Falls, the animal seems ageless and the same as their first day there. "Seriously, you haven't changed much at all since we met, you jerk." Bill whines and crosses his arms In frustration. "Still, I guess you're not as insufferable in this form." The goat pauses chewing and bleats at the obnoxious demon. "Hahaha, got you there, buddy! Nah... we'll grab some margaritas later."

"Uh Bill, why are you talking to our goat?" Mabel blurts out. Gompers and Bill turn to the young woman. They exchange a quick glance to each other, before they shrug. It is the most amount of expressions Mabel has ever seen on the goat's face.

"We have some history." The demon ends it with that. Okay...

"Well, I made some waffles for Gompers. Do you want to share with him?"

"Nah, I'm good." Mabel settles the plate down for the odd pet, who eats it with the same apathetic-look on its face. "He's being a butt; he actually likes it." Bill insists. It makes the young woman smile, until she remembers who it is and why the demon is here. As she turns around, Bill speaks again. "Hey kid, expect something big to happen at the lake." Mabel's ears twitch at the news. "It's going to be much later today since there's distance to travel and yada-yada and such, but I think you're going to like it!"

"Me? Isn't Dipper the one you're trying to convince into your scheme?" The golden triangle's eye glimmers with all-knowing amusement.

"Sure, but you're Pine Tree's biggest weakness, and you've always have been, Shooting Star. Since you're still sore about me possessing your brother's body, even though I only made him bleed a little and only his arms were a bit black and blue... anyways, I thought I would give you a little something for your worrying. You're a good sister." Mabel tries her best to examine the demon to see if Bill is planning anything sinister, but it is quite hard when his form is not humanoid in nature. "You don't have to trust me now, after all, that's what my surprise is for. Just something I thought you would appreciate. If you're happy, then he's happy."

She sighs, but does her best to not roll her eyes. Mabel cannot think of anything that could get herself to feel any positive feelings towards Bill. The insensitive dream demon - like Gideon Gleeful - hurt her brother, and she would never forgive anyone that does that to her twin. Trying her best to be polite, she just scurries back to the house and continues making more batter for Mabel Waffles.

"Urgh, I have such a headache..." Dipper moans as he stumbles toward the kitchen.

"I told you Dipper, when I party, I party hard. Even without the Smile Dip," Mabel says as she plates another stack of waffles. "Take a seat and eat. I'll get you some Mabel Juice to perk you up!"

"No... please, just water. I don't think I could take Mabel Juice right now... I don't want to accidentally swallow a plastic dinosaur." The teenage boy shudders at the thought before eating the homemade breakfast. It is crunchy and sugary-sweet how Dipper likes it.

"Your loss bro-seph, so your loss." Mabel comments but fetches him the plain beverage. The smell of food finally enters the other rooms of the house, and Stanley is soon up and about (creaking joints and all). The mystery man of the shack plops down into his usual seat, and looks out the window as he waits for his share.

"Stanford barely got any sleep last night," The older man mentions. "He's really concerned about you, kid. He doesn't want what happened to him to be repeated with you." Gruncle Stan pats Dipper on the back. "Oh well, at least we might get some money out of this if you take the deal." The teenage boy sighs at the teasing and temporarily stops eating in disgust.

"Oh yeah, Dipper..." Mabel almost forgot to tell her twin about her earlier conversation with the triangle. "Bill said that something's happening at the lake later."

"What?" The young man gasps and chokes down his bite of food. "When did he say this?"

"This morning when he was playing cards with Gompers-"

"Whoa! He still shouldn't be allowed inside the shack." Dipper groans. The worrying teenager aggressively rubs his fingertips against his forehead.

"No! He wasn't in the house or in my mind. They were playing outside of the shack in the backyard. You can see them through the window." Mabel points out before continuing to cook Gruncle Ford's helping of food. "He told me that whatever's at the lake is for me, and it will show up later in the day. I think it was his version of saying 'sorry I possessed your brother and he needed to go to the hospital' or something like that."

"Darn it, there isn't much time left... urgh, got to think, got to think..." Dipper mumbles and is already gnawing at his T-shirt.

"Kid, you still have one more waffle left. Eat that first before you imitate the goat," Stan reminds his nephew before taking a bite of his own. "You got a good couple hours, just stay calm." Dipper nods and shovels a huge amount of crispy-goodness into his mouth. Even with his mouth full, mumbles resembling "Got to think" are distinct enough for Mabel to frown in worry. Not this again...

"Hey Gruncle Stan, does Gompers like margaritas?" She asks to lighten the mood.

"Heck if I know..." Perhaps Mabel should ask Bill about that detail later...

"Hey Dip, let's go see if we can go to Pacifica's place after breakfast." Dipper cocks his eyebrow at the suggestion. It is not the idea of going to a friend's house, but the timing of the idea that throws him off. "Her family is one of the oldest ones here. I'm sure they have tons of books and other relics about the town, things they might not even know. It wouldn't hurt to take a peek around the place." Dipper's eyes widen in realization and the inquisitive man swiftly downs the rest of his food into his mouth. "Urgh, honestly Dipper..." But Mabel does not have any annoyance in her tone.

After Mabel is done with the cooking (and clean up), the mystery twins quickly fist-bump each other and run back into their rooms. As Mabel is calling Pacifica and telling the blonde about their arrival, Dipper's mind is racing on adrenaline. Is there a lost prophecy that could tell them the reason for Bill's plan? Perhaps there is a device under the mansion that could achieve a second rift?

Too bad Pacifica's flippant attitude kills the mood.

"I don't know what you're going to find in this old junk." The blonde says as she leads them to the secret room that archives her family's sordid history. "The tapestry in the hallway, I admit, is quite creepy, but I don't think Bill has ties with my family anymore. At least, I was never taught about anything when it comes to him."

"We got to see for ourselves though Paz, because I don't want my brother promised to a triangle guy!" Mabel insists and tugs unnecessarily at her ex-rival's arm. Dipper recalls that he has not told his sister about Bill's - and perhaps most demons - lack of concern about the sanctity of monogamy. Still, he understands her point; he does not really want a long-term commitment to a lie either. "Bill doesn't even love my brother."

"Yeah yeah, he wants to get out of future jail... isn't that a good enough reason? What makes you think that guy wants anything more than freedom?" Pacifica questions with a shrug. The blonde is an expert when it came to the desire of freedom and mobility after suffering from the Northwests' parenting style.

"Bill's desires are never this simple." Dipper states.

"Plus, if you had to fake a relationship with someone, would you really choose my brother?" Mabel jokes. Pacifica laughs.

"Good point,"

"Hey!" The teenage boy blushes. He still remembers an awkward time... where a confession, a brick through Pacifica's window, and an awkward douche-bag guitarist phase happen during the summer before their sixteenth birthday. Sure, they are still friends, but it is embarrassing every time it is brought up. Thankfully his only high-school girlfriend during their third year makes the transition of rejected-friend much easier...

"Oh please loser, we're just joking. We love you," Pacifica says sincerely and stops at the familiar door. Instantly, flashes of that ghostly night at the manor came into Dipper's mind and he smiles. He is not the twin that people turn to for emotional support, but in that dark night in their youth, he and Pacifica share a comforting moment full of trust and security, something that not even she and Mabel have together (and they are pretty-much best friends). "Since I know about this room's existence, mother thankfully has been ordering the staff to at least clean up the dust around here. Good grief, it was awful," The only-child flinches in disgust when she remembers the thick layer of gray that would drape over every object in the room. "Here, make sure to put on these gloves. There isn't any dust, but father would be upset to find oily fingerprints on our stuff." Pacifica notes and hands the Pines twins their own pair of thin, latex gloves. "Let me know if you need another pair. There's more in my purse."

"Thanks for this Pacifica," Dipper says before getting to work.

"No problem," She grins. "Marrying a demon is probably not on your list of things to do before you die."

"Urgh... and I thought agreeing to date Bill was a nightmare."

"Oooh... there's lots of pretty jewelry in here!" Mabel cries out. The three teens use their flashlights to examine everything carefully. Priceless necklaces, ornate rings, crisp papers, scrolls, and other items are put under various lights and tests. Dipper contains anything that he believes would be useful into plastic bags, and stores them in his backpack for him and Ford to see further, but has a gut-wrenching feeling that they have not seen "it" yet. They do not realize that they spend hours doing this; everyone is having too much fun in learning the intrigue and hazy mysteries that reside in the mansion's walls. It is almost like they are twelve again.

Bill makes his first appearance in the Northwest family back with the "founder" of the town. Nathaniel Northwest being the government's choice to replace the real founder of Gravity Falls, apparently is something that Bill orchestrates from the shadows by manipulating the officials' minds. It seems that the dream demon in exchange for this sudden surge of power, gets to possess the head of the Northwest household whenever he pleases. As Nathaniel got older and cockier due to his position above the commoners, Bill grew irritation towards his pawn and murders him in the most ludicrous way- making the Northwest man seem crazy and have the town revile him even more. It explains why the cunning Nathaniel could con the Native-Americans to do his bidding in a calculating manner, but later his mind supposedly-dissolves into oblivion.

The rest of the men that lead the Northwest family are content to follow Bill, but the dream demon's grasp quickly dwindles after Nathaniel's death. The triangle from another dimension seems... to lose interest in the affluent family, until the demon calls upon Pacifica's grandfather to give a large, Private grant to a promising man, Stanford Pines from New Jersey. The demon writes a letter that attaches with the check, apparently encouraging Stanford to come to the quiet town of Gravity Falls whenever he has the chance. Bill plants the seed to encourage the scientist to consider the eerie town to research the supernatural.

But after that... there is nothing. Perhaps Preston is good at hiding such things, and would only keep them in his office?

"Pacifica-"

"It's locked Dipper, and the only one with a key to his study and personal parlor is my father." The blonde interrupts, knowing exactly what the young man is thinking.

"Then lets just break in! I know where Gruncle Stan keeps his 'old friends' from the Columbian nights." Mabel suggests. Pacifica shakes her head.

"No, it's the only room in our house that doesn't have a view of the forest, mountains, or anything. It's completely sealed, like a vault. The last time I was in there was when I was a little kid, and I immediately left because it was so stuffy. No vents or anything, the only entrance is the door. Even if we broke in and found anything, my dad would know we've been snooping in there." It is quite a dilemma. Mabel crosses her arms at the bad news.

"Damn... he must be doing something in there if he's that protective." Dipper comments in awe. "Can't imagine Preston sacrificing air conditioning for anything."

"Yeah, he's really cautious about that room. He doesn't even let my mom go in there unless he's there." Mabel's cellphone vibrates. It is Wendy. "Hey, when my dad comes back, I'll see if I can pocket his key. I'll call you and we can investigate if I can." Dipper nods. He is silently grateful that Pacifica is an ally now.

"Hey Wendy," Mabel answers her silent phone. "I'm going to put you on speaker. Dipper and Pacifica are here too." Everyone greets each other with unseen smiles. "So what's up?"

"I'm back for the summer; I thought I was going to stay in Portland, but my mom and dad said that they'd be too busy to come visit me. Me and the guys are down by the lake right now, and I thought you and everyone else would like to join us." Dipper and Mabel grimace. Pacifica does not understand; the twins love Wendy, Nate, Lee, Thompson, and Tambry (Robbie could still be a pain-in-the-butt). "Yo, dudes... something wrong?"

"Wendy... uh, we'll meet you there but be prepared to leave." Dipper grabs the phone and announces. "We got a huge warning that there's something happening at the lake today, and you'll need to leave."

"Whoa, whoa, okay, but would you mind telling me what's going on?" They tell her everything. The Time Police, Bill appearing out of nowhere, the Future War and why Bill needs Dipper, and the sudden news of Bill's surprise at the lake as quickly as they can. Mabel and Dipper are almost out of breath after explaining what has been happening while Wendy is absent. "Wow... that's... Man, trouble seems to find you guys." Wendy nervously chuckles into the phone.

"Yeah, it does-" But the loud rumble of ominous waves made Dipper's stomach churn. "Wendy?"

"Got to go!" And click!

"Oh no! Mabel-" But before Dipper could finish his sentence, Mabel is grabbing the collar of his shirt and rushing them both out of the room. Pacifica obtains her purse and is right behind them; it does not take long for everyone to barrel into Pacifica's lavender jeep. "Pacifica, do you have the keys-"

"Right here," She starts the car and slams on the pedal. The gate is barely open when the car charges down the driveway and onto the winding road. "Damn it, I wish we weren't on a fucking hill." She growls as they see the enormous waves towering over the beach. Damn, damn, damn... "Brace yourselves, sometimes it's good to be rich." Pacifica warns and revs the car's engine so that it roars. They drive down the little roads at over a hundred miles-per-hour. Everyone's gripping the edge of their seat and the determination in their looks could kill. The gigantic waves do not stay too long at the peak, slowly tumbling down onto the tiny lake-front and making the three teens' insides tighten with dread. "Damn it Mabel, what made Bill think that you wanted something like this?"

"I don't know! How am I supposed to understand a dream demon's thought process?" Mabel shouts.

"There's no time to argue! Wendy's in danger!" Dipper reasons. They lurch in their seats when Pacifica stomps on the gas, the car going at a neck-breaking pace down the long hill. They swerve around the cars hurrying out of the beach, nearly hitting a few people in their daring rescue. "I see her! Wendy!" Dipper calls out as loud as he can. The red-head is leading the disorient people above the tree line, urging them to hurry. "Over here!" Wendy nods and runs towards them just as the first wave crushes the small beach. The water splays and quickly consumes the vacation spot, and floods the cars in the parking lot with water. Dipper immediately grabs Wendy's hand and pulls her into the vehicle, thankful to every god he can think of for her safety.

"Hang on!" Pacifica warns but it is just a-hair too late. The water rushes around them, the sea salt smell is almost clawing at them. Cool liquid bites at their ankles and the current is pulling the jeep to the beach. "Shit, jump!" The blonde yells as soon as she puts the car in park and props up the hill breaks. Yet as soon as they do, the roaring tidal waves recede and there is a muscular, lean merman sitting next to the car. Unmistakable tan skin, warm brown eyes , and dark, thick curls...

"Mermando!" Mabel gasps and rushes to his side.

"Hello Mabel," The accent is slightly thicker after the return to his home. When Mabel is close enough, the merman pulls her into a tight embrace and his smile reaches his eyes. "It is so good to see you again."

"Good to see you too. It's not every day that the guy my brother and I shared our first kiss with comes to town." Dipper blushes and avoids Pacifica and Wendy's questioning gazes. He only performed Reverse-CPR on Mermando! The guy is not breathing, what else is Dipper going to do? "So... What brings you here? I thought you were... You know, going to get hitched and stuff to end the war between you and that princess." Mermando tenses at the mention of his fiancé, but abruptly switches back to a calmer demeanor.

"Yes, I'm still engaged to her. But I wanted my parents to meet the young lady who saved me from my horrible fate of being stuck in a public pool so many years ago, and they're even thinking about having the ceremony here so that you and your friends could attend." Mabel squeals at the thought of her two favorite things - mermaids and weddings - and immediately accepts his invitation. "I'm glad. My parents would like to meet you and your friends and family tomorrow if you can spare the time for dinner. By the way, sorry about causing that giant wave. I forgot that sometimes the force of so many mer-people swimming at once can cause such a thing, especially when we're moving from the ocean to the small lake."

"Whoa, that was you guys? Impressive," Wendy comments. Pacifica squints her eyes at Mermando.

"Why didn't you tell us about this sooner? If you thought about coming here for Mabel, then surely you would have sent a letter first." The Spanish merman visibly shrinks at the question.

"It was a very sudden decision on my parents part! I didn't have time." The foreigner's panic pulls at Mabel's heart, and the brunette woman steps in to defend her friend's actions.

"Whoa Paz, it's okay. Sometimes, life just happens and you forget to warn an entire town that your species is going to annihilate the whole shore front. It happens. You're parents will get you another jeep if needed." Mabel reminds the blonde. Mermando swallows the breath stuck in his throat, and appears grateful for Mabel's intervention. "Don't worry Mermando, this town has been through much worse. They'll be over it within two days."

"Thank you," The way Mermando's tan skin practically glows gold under Mabel's sweet gaze worries the Pines boy. From his observations, Dipper believes that Mermando never truly let go of the feelings of love, respect, and desire for his silly sister.

"So... where's your fiancé?" Mabel asks with genuine curiosity. The romantic Pines twin never gave up on the idea of meeting a real-life princess.

"I'm sure she's just hanging out with her parents. She wasn't too excited about coming to this location. Humans are known to accidentally kill their kind with boat propellers or catch them in fishing nets." Mermando pulls a small water bottle out of his backpack. He takes a drink and Dipper notices that the portable water is to prevent the need for Reverse-CPR. "Would you mind if we could... just hang out and catch up on old times?"

"That would be amazing!" Mabel cheers and with her joy, she is able to easily fling Mermando into Pacifica's vehicle. "I'm starving from going through Pacifica's stuff and I'm sure you're hungry from all that swimming, so why don't we go to that burger joint?" The Pines girl asks while looking at the blonde driver; Mabel's eyes resemble a sad puppy. Pacifica still has a look of disappointment when she sees all the water soaking in her car, but ultimately caves.

"Okay, okay, let's get something to eat. I'm pretty famished too." Pacifica sighs and waves for everyone to get in. Wendy notices that Dipper is trailing behind them as they walk to the car.

"Something wrong, Dipper?"

"No... just, Bill actually came up with a good present for Mabel. He gave her a visit from an old friend." Dipper says in his confusion. "That's what the surprise at the lake is, Mermando's arrival."

"Yeah, that's pretty cool. I think that's like, the first nice thing he's ever done for someone without asking for anything." The red-head shrugs, but knows that there is something else troubling the young man.

"But Bill wouldn't do this unless he really wants something. I think it's bigger than a get-out-of-jail-free card or getting Mabel to be comfortable around him... And since he gave this to Mabel, I'm afraid he's going to ask something 'nice' for himself in return." The worrying sibling glances at his sister and bites his lip. It is bad enough that Bill wants a fake relationship with Dipper, but now the dream demon is going to tangle Mabel into his business? "I know what it's like to get tricked by Bill. He tantalizes you with something you desperately want, and in the end he fleeces you. Mabel's too good of a person to have to deal with that-"

"Dipper, chill man. You need to take a deep breath. You guys repaired that machine from the shack, right? The one your Gruncle Ford made to encrypt your thoughts and prevent Bill from messing with your mind? Just take all the precautions you can, research some more ammo on demons, and maybe talk to Ford and see if there's any spells and stuff that can detect whether Bill's messing with you. If not, I'm sure there's a banishing spell." Wendy comforts the teenage boy and rubs his stiff shoulder. "Come on Dipper, have some faith in Mabel. I thought you already learned that six years ago. This isn't nearly as crazy as before, and you're both adults now. At least put that serious face away when Mabel's so happy. Especially since I kind of want to know more about this first kiss of yours, Dipper. I thought you had a crush on me and then Pacifica. I didn't know men entered into the equation. Guess I know why Bill could count on you to 'pretend' to be his boyfriend." Wendy jabs.

"Hey! It didn't mean anything! I had a crush on you at the time-"

"Oh... Dipper, you flighty floozy. You were obsessed about me but you kissed Mermando! I wouldn't have guessed for you to be the type to sample around..." Wendy accuses and lightly elbows Dipper in the ribs. "Maybe Bill should reconsider asking you out. You don't seem that faithful."

"Wendy! It was Reverse-CPR, what was I supposed to do? Let him die?" Damn it... That childhood incident will probably haunt Dipper to his grave.

All seems well and forgiven once they get something to fill their empty stomachs. Mabel and Mermando get their own little table, while Pacifica, Dipper and Wendy are in the table next to theirs (Mermando seems to be glad of the slight amount of privacy). The other teens - even Robbie - find them at the restaurant and join the merriment. Everyone is having a great time, constant laughter fills the air.

However, when Dipper excuses himself for the restroom, Pacifica follows shortly behind him and pulls him into the dark corner.

"Pacifica-"

"Dipper, you're the most paranoid guy I know. If I'm feeling it, then you can't possibly be blind to it." The blonde hisses and glares at the merman's direction. "There's something fisher than that guy's tail, and I think he knows something about Bill. Look at the way he's looking at Mabel!" She gestures harshly with a tilt of her head. "He's giving her the same look that goth-guy gives Tambry. The same look Marius gives Grenda whenever she walks into the room, and I don't like it." Dipper is glad that he is not the only one that notices Mermando's soft expressions whenever the tan teen stares at Mabel. "Please, just... Keep an eye on him for me. Mabel was the first, true friend I made, and I'm not letting her get heartbroken again by a sleazy guy who's getting married to someone else."

"Yeah, I'm even more worried since Mermando was the crush that Mabel had the hardest time getting over." Dipper says in a hush voice. "We'll just keep an eye on them and keep each other informed." Pacifica nods.

"I got to go. Can't have them thinking I went after you to sneak a make-out session." The socialite mocks. Dipper pouts.

"I'm not that bad. Did Mabel ever tell you about the road trip where I got four girls interested in going out with me?"

"And yet where are you now? You're getting asked out by a dream demon that almost bulldozed our town." Pacifica's snark makes Dipper stick his tongue out at her. "Oh, that's mature..."

The stars are visible even though the sky is not yet pitch black. Wendy and the other college gang stroll down the road together, ready to go to a small bar on main street. Pacifica is kind enough to give Mermando a ride to the lake, and does it with charm that even Dipper could accidentally mistake for being true. Her composure makes up for his lackluster good bye, to the point Mermando and Mabel just assume his reaction is a product of shyness and the embarrassing moment six summers ago. Within minutes, the twins find themselves also back home in the humble shack and resting for another gathering tomorrow.

"Oh Dipper, Mermando totally promised me that I could meet his fiancé! She's a mermaid-princess, Dipper!" Mabel's excitement almost makes the teenage boy forget about the worry that weighs down his heart. "He assured me that she's not as jaded and cynical as those unicorns, but she can be a bit reserved and quiet unless she's singing. Do you think we should give her a peace offering-"

"Mabel, you're really happy about seeing Mermando again, aren't you?" She nods, but gives the intelligent boy a knowing smile.

"Dipper, he's here because he's going to get married. I'm not going to get in the way of their happiness, and I won't take advantage of him if he gets cold feet. It isn't fair for anyone if I did that." Wow...

"That's... Really mature of you," Dipper cannot think of something better to say.

"Sheesh Dippin' Dots, do you really think that low of me?"

"N-no! It's not that, but I do know that you're passionate and can get caught up in your emotions, like how I can worry like no one else." Dipper nervously chuckles and scratches his head. "But I forget that you can be the kindest person in the world, and you'd never disturb anyone's joy at the expense of your own."

"Aw, thanks!" She beams and goes half-way up the stairs. "I'm going to knit a floral headband for the Manatee princess. Hope she likes glitter and sequins!"

"I'm sure she'll adore it Mabel. I'm pretty sure there aren't a lot of knit-headbands in the Mermaid-World." Mabel gasps at the idea of giving an original gift to royalty, and she rushes up the rest of the stairway and bursts into her room. Dipper laughs at her enthusiasm.

Not eager to return to his room, the other half of the mystery twins went to the rooftop to recall everything that day. Bill's questionable ties to the Northwests and the Spanish-speaking merman's return are on the list of calmer and quieter mysteries Gravity Falls gave to him, but the suspicious and uneasy part of him is making the hairs on the nape of his neck stand erect. At least Dipper knows that his discomfort around Bill choosing him is not pure paranoia. The dream demon could make demands for Preston to convince Pacifica into Dipper's situation, but Bill still went with the illogical choice of picking him. A kid that lives in the shack that has barriers to stop Bill...

"Not really kid, do you think that Unicorn hair dipped in mercury and everything-else Stanford mixed in that gross concoction could keep me out forever?" An unmistakable voice rang out. Bill materializes in front of the contemplating man, suspending over the human watching the night sky. Dipper flinches. He forgot that Bill does not need to access him through dreams. "Still can't go into the place though. The stuff hasn't completely fallen apart, but it is rotting away as we speak." Bill notes and proves it by slowly descending onto the ledge where Dipper is sitting. A surge of magic tries to punch through the demon before the tips of his black feet even hit the surface. "Ha, thought so! But it's not nearly the big bubble that protected you guys in the past."

"Bill, what do you really want?" There is no anger in Dipper's voice; it seems to startle the golden triangle. "I'm just... confused. You have so many options at your disposal that would have been much easier, yet you chose to bother me. Why?" When Bill looks into Dipper's wide eyes, the ominous entity sees the exhaustion. The merry chase they run around each other takes its toll on the young man, and all Dipper wants is some peace after the war. "I'm not saying that I won't try to stop you, but I still don't understand why you pick me of all the people you could have taken advantage of instead." The sadness is too cute... Bill giggles and squishes Dipper's rosy cheeks with his nimble fingers.

"Isn't it obvious, kid? I like you! You're my favorite. I don't care if this is the hard way. This is what I want, and I get what I want!" Bill howls and gives another squeeze to bring out the dimples on Dipper's face. "You still don't believe me? Yeesh, and I've said it so many times too. Pine Tree, you're neuroticism is usually cute, but you're really a wreck!" Dipper pulls himself away from the affectionate touches, and stares back at Bill in disbelief.

"I'm not cute," Dipper growls out and does his best to not get flustered by it.

"You humans think that just because you grow some face hairs and excrete more hormones that you're suddenly above all that. It's precious." Bill sighs and picks up Dipper's hat. Dipper protests and jumps up to get the accessory back, but Bill flys just above his reach. "See, even when you think you're at your limit and you want to stop, you fight me. I like it, because it makes things interesting, meaning that you're interesting, kid." The young man really does not want to feel his heart relax at the words. They are not meant to be kind. They are probably not even sincere. They are just rhetoric that Bill knows will tug at Dipper's annoying sense of pride and need to prove to himself that he is of worth. He should not fall for such things, and the teenage boy should have outgrown them by now. Sadly, because his guard is down, Dipper shows extreme weakness and visibly takes a shaky, deep breath, when Bill gently places the hat back on his head. It is warm, probably flooding with the energy that makes up Bill's shape. "I'm going to sit on your head!" Bill announces and shrinks in size until he is barely bigger than Dipper's hand.

It tingles.

"You're... strange." The human groans and rests his head on his curling knees and heavy arms.

"Nah, just think of this as practice for when you agree to be my fake boyfriend. I usually like a higher perch, but this is pretty good."

"Bill... can I ask for something to be added to the agreement?"

"Sure! Fire away," The demon sounds too delightful, but Dipper cannot stop himself.

"If I fake having a relationship with you, will you be honest with me?"

"Sure, I guess I never did say whether that information I'd have given you would be accurate or current. How about I give you a freebie right now? Maybe it'll help you decide." The question is easy. It is the one that keeps invading Dipper's head every time he thinks about what is happening.

"Why me?"

"Because I like you, Dipper. Duh! You could have picked a harder one than that!" Dipper realizes this is the first time Bill addresses him by his preferred name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm predictable trash, but I want fluff...


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey, Pine Tree, you okay?"

"Y-yeah Bill, I'm okay. Just... I need more time." Dipper sighs and leans even further to hide his face in his arms.

"Aw, okay," Cipher sounds understanding and just sits casually on Dipper's head. The cool nights of Gravity Falls are cozy with Bill on top of him. The demon is like a warm compress; the same kind that his mother would place on his head when he does not feel well. The comfort is even more unsettling, because he does not want to feel this way around the triangle. Even if it only because this moment reminds his brain of pleasant, childhood memories, Dipper hates himself for these weaknesses. "You're struggles are so amusing, kid." Bill swoons and twirls a couple of strands of hair that poke out of Dipper's hat around his little finger. "You take pride in your intelligence and ability to think rationally, but you absolutely hate the natural instinct and impulsiveness inside you." The demon's thin hand seems to effortlessly tug a tangle out of Dipper's hair.

"It's not unique to me. All humans do this." The teenage boy reasons and concentrates on the night sky.

"Yeah, but it's funny coming from you since you're destined to do great things. Kind of interesting to see the start of it all," Bill says with a twinkle in his eye.

"Heh, sounds like something you'd say six years ago..."

"Just because it ended badly for me, that doesn't mean that what I said wasn't true." The demon reminds Dipper and radiates a little more heat. The teenager does not realize how cold the night is until he sees his breath. Bill has been keeping him warm. Dipper’s stomach twists at the idea, but the young man says nothing. "You're my favorite human, so I can't have you freezing to death, kid." Dipper lets out a grunt in response, so that the triangle knows the human understands. 

They continue to stare up at the starry sky, enjoying the silence between them (rare from Bill). Dipper's stress ebbs away and he closes his eyes at the temporary bliss. His body curls in exhaustion from the recent events, and Dipper does not even put up a fight when Bill slips down and sneaks into the space between his arms. The demon surges with energy, enveloping Dipper in an intoxicating heat that seems to fill the teenage boy. The young man sighs softly and allows his hands to instinctually find a comfortable position on Bill's sides, pulling the dream demon closer.

"Something's wrong with me..." Dipper mumbles as he resists the urge to nuzzle his face into the yellow bricks.

"Nah, you're just sleepy. Why don't you head to bed, Pine tree? You've got lots of stuff to think about." Bill's solid form becomes less tangible, to the point that the triangle feels like smoke in the Pines boy's arms. Dipper watches as the hazy cloud eventually dissipates from his grasp, and blends with the thick, forest air. Maybe it is time to go to bed... Wait...

Dipper's short conversation with Bill almost distracts the young man from the other task he wants to complete before heading to bed. He quietly exits the roof-top to hand the artifacts found in Pacifica's house to Stanford, for the elder could possibly find something in them that Dipper and Mabel could not decipher. After lazily showering and buttoning up his pajamas, the teenage boy grabs his backpack, sneaks out of his room (avoiding the creaking boards so as not to disturb his Gruncle Stan watching soap operas), and goes into the secret elevator to his Great Uncle Ford's study.

It saddens Dipper a little to see the genius relative hunching over his desk and lightly snoring against scribbles. He briefly wonders if Mabel ever worries about him the way Dipper cares for his Gruncle Ford, but knows it would be hypocritical of him to speak up. Rather than dwelling on the depressing topic, the young boy quietly removes his backpack's straps from his shoulders and carefully sets every object down one-by-one. A strange hourglass that they could not find any connections to period-base fashion or history, a map to a possible UFO crash (though its validity is questionable due to the strange and illogical directions that not even Mabel could unravel), several papers with Bill's image and wheel, and letters all in a strange code that Dipper could not solve within his time in the gothic mansion. In his distraction, a skinny hand rests on Dipper's shoulder and makes the young boy jump in fright when he sees that it is black. Bill should not be in the house!

The quaking boy turns and wields his backpack like a shield, only to find that the person behind him is Fiddleford McGuckett. Dipper sighs in relief and drops the makeshift defense carelessly onto the ground. They laugh.

"Who did you think I was?" The elder asks as he sets his own book bag onto the table.

"I think I should be asking you why you're wearing black gloves in the summer." Dipper whips back. McGuckett shrugs.

"Oh, I got into an argument with the wife. Raccoons can be rather violent when you provoke them." Oh right... Dipper sometimes forgets that the old man is still enjoying his companionship with the wild animal. "What's all this stuff?" But the founder of the Blind Eye society winces when he notices Bill's image.

"Sorry,"

"No, no, don't worry about me." But the lively man's voice is weak and timid. "Your sister heard me come in and insisted that she cooked something for me to eat. Be prepared for what she called 'Mabelfredo.' I don't know what that entails, but I did see her throw in twelve different cheeses, which might be good." A small smile appears on Fiddleford's face when he sees the hourglass. "Oh... you found another one?" The elder lifts the unusually heavy object up to his eye-level, and twirls it around to move the sand.

"Do you know what that is?" Dipper's eyes widen in wonder and curiosity.

"Oh yeah! This is a special hourglass made by the Time Baby. It can sense changes in our timeline. When the hourglass is stopped, that means something was added or removed somehow. It then needs to be tipped over in order to move again." The inventor beams. After further examination, McGuckett squints his eyes at the engraving and then switches his attention to Dipper. Abruptly, the old man fishes for his glasses in the chaos inside the book bag, and does not seem to care when he places them messily and off-kilter over his eyes. Dipper silently watches as the elder continues his uneasy gazes at the Time Baby artifact and the teenage boy. "Dipper, where did you find this hourglass?" The younger man gulps and hesitates answering the borderline-crazy man. "Please my boy, tell me where you got this?" The amount of worry and dread the elder man's eyes carry for Dipper make the twin boy feel miserable for doubting the elder.

"The Northwests' mansion on the hill had it. Pacifica allowed me to take it to you guys."

"... Huh, that's not good." McGuckett blurts out.

"What, why?"

"Well, because according to the written language of the Time Giants, this hourglass belongs to you." Fiddleford reveals. "I can't read it as fast as Stanford can, but it is pretty clear. This is a gift from Time Baby to you, kid." The inventor sets the hourglass gently back on the table and sighs. "I know this is yours, but I think Stanford would really like for us to-"

"Yeah, you don't have to ask. You did plenty for us already, so no need for that." Dipper reassures. McGuckett swings one arm around the teenager's shoulders to give him a brief hug.

"You kids did a lot for me too, so don't ever wait to ask me for help." Just as they pull away from each other, Mabel bursts into the study.

"If you think you knew what alfredo was, you'll be sorely mistaken once you tried my magnum opus!" She cheers with one arm carrying a heavy pot of pasta while another had two plates and forks. Waddles trots slowly behind her, and playfully jabs his snout against Stanford's ankle. "Come on Gruncle Ford, I know you haven't left this room since this morning. Gruncle Stan tattled on you, so you better get up and eat!" Mabel's insistence could wake up the dead, so it does not take long for the six-finger genius to break from his slumber.

"Your age is really showing," Fiddleford teases his colleague and grabs his share of food.

"Oh you, don't even get started on that topic." Stanford moans and stretches his back. Joints crack. Gruncle Ford immediately notices the hourglass and checks the scripture on the bottom. "Dipper-"

"Yeah, McGuckett told me."

"Told you what?" Mabel wonders as she fixes her relative a plate of food.

"This hourglass belongs to Dipper." The elder Pines' twin tells her, and sets the object down with a frown. "Most troubling..."

"Che, Gruncle Ford, that is impossible! We found that thing in Pacifica's house." Mabel shrugs off. Before the older relative could explain, Dipper cuts him off. 

"Eat first, otherwise Mabel won't let you hear the end of it." Dipper orders his Gruncle, and quickly takes the food from Mabel and puts it in front of Stanford. 

"Exactly Gruncle Ford, you don't want to see me when I'm angry... Those unicorns think they can buy my neutrality with gold, but oh... Can I hold a grudge against those jerks," All of the men in the room quake in terror and nod. "By the way everyone, we totally got invited to have dinner with some awesome merpeople. One of them is a really good friend of mine, so if you're going to ask them questions for the journals, try to not be too invasive." Mabel says the last part while staring hard at Dipper. The shorter Pines twin wrinkles his nose in annoyance and whispers 'I'm not that bad.' The young woman rolls her eyes at her sibling's behavior, but swiftly remembers Ford's concern about one of the objects they have. "So what's so special about that thing and why does it belong to Dipper?"

"According to McGuckett, it's something the Time Baby gives to people and it has my name on it." Mabel brings the hourglass to her face and turns it in every direction.

"It's not an ordinary gift though. The Time Baby only gives this hourglass to those that helped him greatly..." Stanford says in between bites. "Fiddleford and I will look into more information about this-"

"Yes you will, right after some rest and getting some sunlight before a fabulous dinner with mermaid royalty."

"Mabel, this is important-"

"Stanford, you still suck with women." The inventor ribs and gives a playful wink to Mabel. "Don't worry Mabel, I promise I won't let him stay up too late. It was one of the many reasons he asked me to be his assistant over thirty years ago." Mabel gleefully smiles and hugs the elder as thanks.

Dipper yawns and quietly excuses himself to bed. He could feel everyone staring at his retreating back, but his exhaustion stops the teenage boy from telling them anything. Especially since he has some ridiculous thoughts brewing inside him…

Incessant scratching and tapping on the window forces Dipper awake. He checks the clock. It is only five minutes after four. The teenager groans and tries to ignore the annoying noises. His eyes do not snap open until he hears a high-pitch “Hey kid, get up!” Urgh… he really does not want to confront Bill after their strange… night together. Bill’s persistence however wins in the end, and Dipper trudges up the effort to get out of bed. His body feels heavy. The shorter of the Pines twins rolls his eyes at the annoying dream demon, and goes up to the only window in the room to tell Bill off.

“It’s four in the morning…” The human tries to sound intimidating, but the kitten-like yawn he emits right after that kills the mood.

“Hahaha, you’re so adorable when you try to be threatening.” Compliments from Bill are still awkward. “Come on Pine Tree, I’ve got a surprise for you that you’ll love. I promise it ain’t a screaming head… you humans don’t seem to like them.” The floating triangle mumbles something about humanity’s tastes being shallow, but Dipper is unable to make out the exact words in his state. “What do you know about vampires?”

“Vampires? Oh yeah, Ford and I met some. They’re actually pretty nice. They may accidentally kill a farmer’s livestock, but they never attack humans.” Dipper sighs and leans against the frame of the window to prop himself up.

“Yeah, those are the vampires that are native to here though. Have you met any exotic ones?”

“What do you mean by exotic?” Dipper’s intrigue makes Bill gleeful.

“Oh… well, for some reason, there’s some special types of vampires visiting from Asia, Philippines specifically. They call them Manananggal.” Bill explains. “They’re different from the vampires here. Did you know that they can detach from the bottom-half of their bodies? It’s pretty hilarious!” It does sound fascinating… Dipper rubs the sleep out of his eyes and listens for more. 

“Why are they here?”

“What, you don’t think that magical creatures don’t have their own form of tourism?” Bill has a look of disappointment. “Trust me, Stanley’s got nothing on the amount of trinkets that the hidden monsters of Gravity Falls trade amongst ourselves.” Apparently the floating triangle thought the concept would have been obvious to the demon’s favorite human. “The sun is going to come out soon. They’ll either be getting a last-minute snack or finding shelter.” A faint thought of not-trusting-Bill enters the teen boy’s mind, but the thought of adding something to his and Ford’s journals is too great of a temptation. Besides… Bill needs him alive to convince Time Baby to keep him out of jail… at least, Dipper hopes that part of the demon’s plan requires that. “Oy kid, did you get glued to the floor? Chop chop! Oh, you should get a salt shaker too.” Bill orders and waves his cane around playfully. Dipper nods. 

The teenager hisses when he feels the biting chill of the morning against his skin. His shirt is thrown carelessly to the floor before he trots over to his dresser. It is only after he zips up his pants that he realizes that Bill is there, watching him. Since it is too late for modesty now, the young man swiftly retrieves his hat and personal journal. Dipper writes a chicken-scratch note about going into the woods, and slaps it on Mabel’s door with tape. The rush of a new adventure makes the young man dash out through the halls so fast that the old wood does not squeak. At the last minute, Dipper grabs the saltshaker in the kitchen and quickly shakes it to make sure it is full before heading to the porch. The human is brought to a halt though, when he opens the front door and the demon is there. Bill’s slender hand – that more resembles a claw than a human appendage – is stretching out to Dipper, silently asking the teen to take it.

“Come on kid, don’t leave me hanging. Considering it your end of the bargain, for me showing you this.” Dipper bites his lip but nods. It is not a terribly huge favor… damn his lack of sleep robbing him of his self-preservation. Bill’s hand is just as warm as the night before. “Great, now… hopefully we won’t have to use the shaker.” Yup, it is too good to be true. Bill wants Dipper dead. “Oh, don’t be so pessimistic!” It does not comfort Dipper.

They take a light jog through the thick woods. The scent of new grass and old bark invigorates Dipper’s lungs to the point the two could have a light conversation in their trek.

“Hey, Mabel said you were hanging out with Gompers yesterday.” Dipper comments as he jumps over the uneven earth.

“Oh yeah, he and I have known each other for a long time…” Bill answers as the demon phases through another tree. Dipper’s hand feels like it is holding smoke until the demon solidifies again. “He can be a cheeky bastard.”

“Gompers is only sixteen years old, what kind of history do you guys have?”

“Oh kid, you really don’t have a clue if you think Gompers is only sixteen. Gompers was Stanford’s goat before Stanley adopted him and the shack. Gompers has been a goat for thirty-eight years.” Dipper stops and thinks how that is possible. When he and his sister went back in time with Blendin’s time-traveling tape, they could clearly see a smaller, younger Gompers that could only be a ‘kid’ at the time. There is also the problem of the lifespan of goats. They only live between ten to eighteen years. Wait…

“He’s been a goat for thirty-eight years? Was he something else before that?”

“Hm… well Pine Tree, I’d like to answer that but I don’t want to step on his privacy. But Gompers likes you kid, so I’m sure if you asked he’ll tell you about it.” Okay…

“So much for honesty,” Dipper chuckles and continues walking.

“Hey, buddies stick together. We had a thousand years of knowing each other and had some interesting times. After that kind of… friendship? I guess I’ll call it friendship, but anyways, I think it’s better for him to explain what he’s doing and going through than me.” It brings a tiny smile to the teen’s face. It hardly seems plausible, the idea that Bill would be considerate about someone else’s privacy. Dipper wonders about the other dimensions of Bill’s personality. “Come on, keep going! We’re going to miss them if you keep at this slow pace.” The elder entity scolds and gives Dipper’s back a light shove. The young man laughs lightly and follows Bill’s orders. 

They pass the clear creek and a flowery meadow before Bill pulls Dipper behind a few shrubs and tells the boy to kneel down. It takes the inquisitive teen a second to realize that there is a pair of legs walking around without a torso and head.

“What the-”

“Didn’t I tell you? Absolutely hilarious!” The demon points out and cackles. Dipper cannot help but admit to himself that the wandering legs bumping into trees are an amusing sight. Bill goes into great detail about the Manananggal and why they do this. Apparently the upper half can only transmogrify into a bat when they detach from their hips and legs. Since the bat form is the only way they can fly to look for food, the Manananggal will leave their legs behind almost every night. In this state, the legs are dying without the nutrients from the torso, so they do not want to be separate for too long and will start moving towards the flying half. Dipper jots this all down on a fresh page, glancing every few sentences at the lost legs to make sure they are not getting too close to him. Bill never mentions anything about the Manananggal not feeding on people like the native vampires, and he does not want his sudden presence to disturb the foreigner. “Oh boy, here comes the dramatic flourish…” Bill says and drifts closer to Dipper; it still feels awkward to be this close. 

The heat that the golden shape emits is not unpleasant, but that is the problem. Dipper should be on his guard, feel clammy and upset about having to hold Bill’s hand, and curse the demon to wallow in Time Out, but the young man does not feel any of those things. Hiding in the woods, observing lost vampire parts, and holding hands does not make Dipper feel anything…

A giant, gray bat swoops in like an eagle, and the wingspan almost takes up all of Dipper’s vision. Wait, what are those... it looks odd to see such a creature in a bleach-white shirt, but it does not take long for the illusion to take hold. Dipper watches as the bat’s body transforms into the upper-half of a tan, slender woman. Thick, straight hair with blunt bangs, thin but alluring brown eyes, and full red lips are captivating. The teenage boy holds his breath. The Manananggal does not have the slight-gray cast to her features like the vampires he knew either, something he hopes he remembers to write down in the notebook.

“Who is there?” The vampire sounds angry. Oops…

Dipper is about to say something but Bill clamps a firm hand over the Pines twin’s mouth.

“Get the salt out of your pocket,” The demon commands. Oh dear!

“How dare you see this! Have you no respect for another’s dignity?” Shit! As soon as she charges toward their location, Dipper uncaps the shaker and throws it at her face. The Manananggal screeches loudly and clutches her face in agony. 

“Oh wow, nice shot Pine Tree! But now you just alerted her whole family that we’re here now. She wasn’t actually going to hurt you, just try to scare you.” What?!

“I didn’t know that!” Dipper feels awful about causing the woman so much pain. “What should I do to help?”

“Nah, she’ll heal up soon. But you better run if you don’t want to be ripped to shreds by a bunch by her relatives.” Yikes! The teenage boy quickly apologizes to the ethereal woman and sprints out of his and Bill’s hiding spot. “Ha! They’re coming!” Bill’s laughter fills Dipper with dread. The shorter twin groans about not having the extra centimeter in his legs that Mabel has, and does his best to swerve and dodge the treeline’s low branches. He can hear the flapping of several wings, swift footsteps crunching the grass, and the terrifying calls of his head in Spanish and Tagalog. “Tick tock, tick tock…” Fuck you, Bill! The young man shivers as he runs through the creek. The wings sound closer. “Your struggles are so cute! Come on, just a little more.”

“Seriously not helping!” Dipper yells as he trudges and fights through the rushing water. 

“But fear is just such a good look on you, Pine Tree.” The triangle coos and twirls his cane. The demon seems so calm about this. “Aw, damn the sun. It’s going to ruin all of my fun.” Dipper turns to the horizon and sees a peak of orange crawling upwards into the sky. The flapping that sent adrenaline running through him is actually the sound of songbirds whirling in the beautiful rays. Since the creatures of the night are asleep, they bask in the safety of the rising star.

“You… are such a jerk!” Dipper grins and splashes water from the stream onto the golden demon. “I thought I was going to die!”

“I would have thought you’d have been used to that feeling after six years in Gravity Falls!” Bill’s cackles mingle with the human’s laughter. Bill swoops down until his feet are only an inch away from grazing the water’s surface. Before Dipper can blink, the dream demon scoops a handful of water and slaps it against the young man’s shirt. “Besides, you’re too resilient.” Dipper is still smiling, even when he’s arriving home still soaking wet…

“Well Pine Tree…” Bill greets once they see Mabel waving to them from the front porch. “Hope you had fun today,” Dipper nods. Even if this outing is just Bill coaxing him to play ‘pretend boyfriend’ with the other-worldly entity, the shorter twin cannot deny that he does find this morning’s adventure educational and stimulating. “You should probably shower. Shooting Star won’t be too pleased with you smelling like sweat and fear.”

“Sure Bill,” Dipper tries to not sound ecstatic about everything. It surprises the teenage boy when the demon does not disappear from his sister’s sight (her current expression is pretty intimidating).

“Dipper, where have you been?” Mabel implies the ‘with Bill’ with her eyes rather than her words.

“Oh, he just showed me that there were some Filipino vampires near town.” The shorter of the twins shrugs and tries to avoid questions.

“Dipper…” 

“Ha, she sounds like your mom.” The demon mocks.

Dipper knows that tone in his beloved sister’s voice. They both know that she knows his unsure state. She is right, but the young man cannot help but feel that this is different. There is no handshake, no giving, or anything on Dipper’s part when it comes to Bill. The only unfortunate side effect is that Bill is around, but if the triangle is to be taken seriously, then he is already observing and invading their privacy. But she’s correct about everything. When came to zombie summoning, Wendy, and trusting Gruncle Stanley, Mabel gives and makes the best decisions. “Urgh, come on, get back inside.” Mabel orders. She points towards the entrance of the house with exasperation in every muscle. Unlike Gruncle Ford, Dipper knows to not mess with Mabel when she uses that voice. “You better be lucky that I love you.” It makes Dipper smile. Before the younger set of Pines twins could return to the safety of the Mystery shack, a flash of blinding light appears in the middle of their lawn and an angry Blendin Blandin appears. There are two other Time policemen with guns.

“I knew that you were faking it, Bill! I have the proof and it’s time to stop this now!” What the- “You’re under arrest right now, demon. You don’t love Dipper, you just want an out and I won’t let you get away with this.” Crap! If Blendin arrests Bill now, Dipper cannot thoroughly think about his options and decide whether or not to take Bill's offer. What to do…

"Oh come on, I've only been here for two days. I kind of tried to take over the world through the use of a billion-year old prophecy, so I don't blame the kids for not trusting me with open arms right away. I thought that's how humans work." The future man grits his teeth and has special handcuffs ready to subdue the demon. As the Time Enforcer draws closer, Dipper's heart is pounding. Bill cannot go to jail now; Dipper needs to delay this until he can truly decide.

“Whoa Blendin, demons aren’t really that skilled when it comes to dating. You can’t blame Bill for that.” Shit. Mabel and Blendin’s eyes widen in shock. “Okay, Bill isn’t the best boyfriend, but I’m not exactly a normal human either.” So he’s buying the triangle some time… but that’s only to keep his options open!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! Haven't updated in a while, so I threw this together.


End file.
